Guide She Comes First: The Thinking Mans Guide to Pleasuring a Woman (Kerner)

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Table of contents

And unlike the penis—burdened with the responsibilitiesMuch more.

  1. She Comes First : The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. Ian Kerner -;
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While there exists a exploration of the clitoral network will lead to the discovery of acontingent of traditionalists who maintain that the clitoris is composed of nothing whole new world. But knowing a little geography goes a long way. Know your maps,view that builds on the research of pioneers like Masters and Johnson, Mary Jane and know that every voyage is unique.

Sherfey, and the Feminist Womens Health Centers among others. This view espoused within these pages as well maintains that the clitoris is a complex organsystem that is homologous to the male penis. But as difficult as it may be, its important to separate the concept of procreation from pleasure: the penis, by dint of its convenient fit into the vagina, may play an instrumental role in the former, but that doesnt mean its ideally suited to the latter.

This sort of talk is none too popular, mainly because it challenges the very foundation upon which our societys conception of sex has been forged, and throws into doubt the value of intercourse as the principal paradigm for constructing a model of mutual pleasure. From losing ones virginity to the consummation of a relationship to the cherished simultaneous orgasm, our culture has enshrined the role of genital penetration as the be-all, end-all of heterosexual relationships. Is it any wonder,vagina are substantially less sensitive than the outer third.

In a series then, that according to author Lou Paget the number one questionof experiments, Dr. Kinsey asked five gynecologists to examine the sent in by female readers to the editors of Cosmopolitan magazine is:genitals of almost nine hundred women in order to find out which What can I do to have an orgasm during intercourse? Heres a simpleareas were the most sensitive. Or at least make it part of a largerreally have few nerve endings and are quite insensitive when stroked event and not the event itself. When we know how to recognize and navigate the process of female sexual response, when we understand the role In letting go of intercourse, we open ourselves up to new The Female Orgasm: Keepcreative ways of experiencing pleasure, ways that may not strike usas inherently masculine, but ultimately allow us to be more of a man.

We are free to lovewith more of ourselves, with our entire self. The clitoral orgasm is often criticized as being quick and lighthearted, while the others are somehow deemed more serious and substantial. But a quick study of anatomy reveals that all orgasms are clitoral. The clitoris is the sexual epicenter, an orgasmic powerhouse in which no sensation goes unnoticed. In other words, the G-spot may be nothing more than the back end of the clitoris. So, in one sense, both the female and concepts, variables, or constructs that are not needed to explain thethe male orgasm depend on the clitoris for stimulation.

In doing so, we reduce inconsistencies, ambiguities, For those doubting Thomases who still cant let go of their and redundancies, as well as the likelihood of error. The clitoris encompasses them all. The tonguevaginal agenesis, in which they are literally born without a vagina, is far better used to produce orgasms than to waste time namingdespite normal development of external genitals, including major and them.

While these women are often unable to becomepregnant without surgery or intense medical therapy, they are, infact, able to experience sexual pleasure and orgasm—because eventhough they may lack a vagina, they still have a fully functionalclitoris. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of women who havebeen subjected to the brutalities of a clitoridectomy. This painfulmutilation, often referred to as female circumcision, is still practicedtoday in some cultures and almost always leaves the womanpermanently disfigured, traumatized, and deprived of a clitoris andany chance of sexual enjoyment.

While itspossible to experience a clitoral orgasm without the presence of avagina, its virtually impossible to experience a vaginal or G-spotorgasm without the presence of a clitoris. The Tongue Is Mightier Over and over again, we heard such things as oral sex is the only method that consistently enables my wife to reach orgasm or if a Than the Sword man knows how to give outstanding oral sex, then a woman will reach orgasm every time.

When using his tongue, a man doesnt have to worry about growing fatigued, nor does he need fret over premature ejaculation or impotence. He can relax and enjoy the act of giving. The tongue, an array of muscles and nerves held together by a membrane covered with thousands of taste buds, is the most versatile sex organ we possess.

But because of its attached at both ends. We can touch, taste, and lick with it. The tongue is the instrument that lets us speak many languages, foremost among them the language of love.

Many women complain woefully about mens oral techniques:provides efficiently for male orgasm, and inefficiently for female the lack of consistent, rhythmic pressure; their roughness; the madorgasm. A womans orgasm is complex and often elusive, and many Sadly, many women also complain about mens attitudes towardmen are unable to control their penises with enough precision to cunnilingus: squeamish and hesitant; overeager, impatient, evenproperly guide a woman through the stages of arousal. Making love angry.

And many men fail to finish what they started. In The Hitewith ones penis is like trying to write calligraphy with a thick Magic Report on Male Sexuality, the author observes that although mostMarker.

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

Most men consider cunnilingus an aspect of foreplay, an anything, its an addition, an enhancement—an extension. Men oftenappetizer to be served before the main meal of genital intercourse. However, during cunnilingus, if you trust theknowledgeable and experienced women who use a vibrator, the most moment and let yourself go, you enter a zone where both your headscommon type of stimulation that usually or always triggers an are united in a process of arousal that is synchronized with hers.

Youorgasm is oral sex. We need a category that is more encompassing and inclusive. Weve had intercourse—lots of it—and think that Outercourse kicks its ass. Better if men simply left their penisalone, stopped attending to those immature nerve fibers, andconcentrated instead on learning how to orgasm through theirtongues. Its not that the tongue is a replacement for the penis; if We tend to take it for granted that our society defines sex as a Her Inner Goddess linear process that includes foreplay, vaginal penetration, and the male orgasm.

The male orgasm presages the denouement of the sex act, regardless of where a woman is in the process of sexual response and irrespective of her innate biological capacity to experience multiple orgasms. The male orgasm is the signifying event that defines what comes before, as well as after.

The male orgasm is indispensable and highly valued by society, not so the females. In this and functioned in a similar way to produce orgasm. As long as thebizarre world, men are selected as mates based not on their one-sex view prevailed, the capacity for female pleasure wasproficiency to wield a spear or look good in a tux, but on their ability understood, if not always respected. What men are habitually, women arethe female orgasm was an integral component of reproduction.

As only exceptionally. Galen proclaimed that a womancould not get pregnant unless she had an orgasm. Medical illustrationsbecame increasingly more simplistic, leaving parts of the clitorisunlabelled. By Victorian times, the orgasm, which was previouslyaccepted as a natural component of womens sexual repertoire, was Avoid Freudseen as unnecessary, unseemly, and perhaps even unhealthy forwomen. Whats particularly insidious is that at the time of his postulating Freud had a rather clear understanding of the anatomical role of the clitoris and chose instead to promote his personal ideas about female sexuality over current scientific knowledge.

In short, he abused the bully pulpit. Female masturbation was criticized as creating clitoral With the change to femininity the clitoris should wholly, or in poets, or else wait until science can give you more profound and part, hand over its sensitivity and at the same time its importance more coherent information. Today, our understanding and appreciation of the importance of Freud, New Introductory Lectures on Psychoanalysis the clitoris, and the stimulation of it, owes much to the dogged efforts of those impassioned individuals who bucked the conventional wisdom and did battle throughout the sexual revolutiondependency; oral sex was verboten.

She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide To Pleasuring A Woman

In Freuds view, there were no of the s, s, and s: prominent figures such as Dr. Alfredtwo ways about it: if a woman couldnt be satisfied by penetrative Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, Shere Hite, Betty Dodson, and lesssex, something must be wrong with her. As Dr. Thomas Lowry prominent, but equally important ones like Dr. Men need to take the time to learn what most women knowworry than any other single psychological notion. Hence, and foremost, include a powerful element of respect.

According toa womans sexuality became subsumed by a males. From there, it journalist Paula Kamen, author of the survey of sexual attitudes Herwas all downhill. The practice depends on both womens and mensphysicians and psychologists perceived womens sexuality. It was as recognition and respect of this power. Edwardes and R. Masters, weanatomy, and even the explosive little glans, was vaporized. Memory are told that during the Tang Dynasty, the Empress Wu Hu ruledof the clitoris gradually faded until it became an anatomical China.

She knew that sex and power were inexorably linked, and shenonentity. In When my husband gives me head, its such a powerful turn-on No joke. Old paintings depict the beautiful, powerful empressstanding and holding her ornate robe open while a high nobleman ordiplomat is shown kneeling before her, applying his lips and tongueto her royal mound. Whats in a Name? Well gone are the days of kings and queens and royal decrees, butinside many a modern woman is an Empress Wu Hu, longing to behonored by her nobleman.

Most men can more easily identify whats under the hood of a car than whats under the hood of a clitoris. Even though the genitals of both men and women are formed from the same embryonic material, and develop during gestation in an equivalent manner, the penis grows out, while much of the clitoris grows in. Interestingly, Oliver Wendell Holmes remarked that the female genitalia were simply those of the male turned inside out. But on the contrary, modern science teaches us that the male is a modified female, differentiated during the first trimester of pregnancy.

So if anything, the male genitalia are a mirror image of the females rather than vice versa. Whats in a name?

  1. She Comes First Audiobook | Ian Kerner |
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Buttheyre the right words, in that theyre scientifically accurate andproperly descriptive. And knowing the right words is a powerfulstarting point for clearly understanding the process of sexualresponse and, ultimately, developing an erotic lexicon that is uniqueand true to the spirit of your individual relationship. And besides I dont think most of us have a clear idea of what were talking about when we say The words youchoose to use in your bedroom are your own business; supplying youwith accurate knowledge is this books business.

The mons pubis is a thick pad of fatty 2 While there is no shortage of documentation on the female sexual anatomy, as well as on the process of female sexual response, our review of these areas is based on the groundbreaking work of the Federation of Feminist Womens Health Centers and their highly informative book A New View of a Womans Body. Based on years of research and self-examination, FFWHC has redefined much of what had been previously held to be true about the nature of female sexuality.

Interestingly, the principal function of pubic hair is to attract and Some anthropologists speculate that a womans use of lipstick retain odors that stem from the release of glands in the pubic area stems from her desire to have the visible upper lips resemble the and serve as a source of arousal. The inner lips enfold and surround the clitoral glans the head , the urethral opening, and the introitus entrance to the vagina. LikeThe Labia Majora. Heading south from the mons pubis, we next the inner side of the labia majora, these smaller, inner lips have noencounter the starting point of the labia majora major lips.

The hair, but are layered with oil glands that look and feel like tinyouter sides of the labia majora, also known as the outer lips, are rich bumps. Dense with nerves, the inner lips are extremely sensitive andwith pubic hair, whereas their inner sides are smooth, lined with oil play an important role in the process of arousal. All pages appear to be readable. May not have functioning accessories like CDs or access codes. Merchant Details: Amazon Marketplace offers millions of new and used items offered by a huge selection of third-party sellers.

Purchase the product you want and choose the seller with the best price, shipping rate, and service. Merchant Details: BiggerBooks offers a wide selection of new and used books and partners with the largest publishers and distribution centers to offer cheap prices. Merchant Details: eCampus.

After doing a search for the books you need, you'll then have the option to select which version of the textbook you would like. Not all options are available for every textbook, but we're working everyday to offer every option for every book available. Main navigation Buy Rent Sell. Featured Bookstores. Our Recommendation. We Suggest: -. Confidence: -. The first half of the book is primarily about female anatomy, while the second covers step-by-step techniques.

I would warn any man who might be tempted to skip the first section to get to the "good stuff", thinking that they already know these things, to think again. A woman's body is much more complex than it may seem at first glance, as I demonstrated with my earlier comment about the clitoris. If there are things that I didn't even know before reading this book, then it's pretty unlikely that men would either, and truly understanding the female body and all of its inner workings is key to being able to effectively pleasure it.

Overall, She Comes First is a book that I would highly recommend to both men and women.

She Comes First: More Orgasms For Women With Ian Kerner Relationship Alive! podcast

Any man who wants to have a happy, healthy sex life and truly know what a woman wants should definitely be reading this book. Women should also do themselves a favor by encouraging their lover to read it, or at the very least, leave it lying around where it can be easily found. She Comes First has definitely earned a permanent spot on my bedroom shelf, and I am eagerly looking forward to reading the companion book, Passionista the retitled release of He Comes Next. Ian Kerner is also a regular contributor to several magazines and newspapers as well as making appearances on various television programs such as The Today Show.

Now that I know his philosophies definitely match my own, I'll certainly be looking up his articles and interviews as well. All I can say it that if Mr. Kerner makes a habit of practicing what he preaches at home, his wife is one lucky lady. The Hope Chest Reviews on Facebook. Our take: These books would be appropriate for teen and sensitive readers.

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Our take: These books should still be appropriate for most mature teens and sensitive readers. May contain moderately descriptive love scenes, usually no more than three. Our take: Teen and sensitive readers should exercise caution. May contain a number of explicitly descriptive love scenes.